The state becomes the means by which a fantasy becomes literalized: desire and sexuality are ratified, justified, known, publicly instated, imagined as permanent, durable. And, at that very moment, desire and sexuality are dispossessed and displaced, so that what one ‘is’ and what one’s relationship ‘is’, are no longer private matters.
Judith Butler, Undoing Gender, p. 111
Most of the discourses on sex, be they religious, psychiatric, popular, or political, delimit a very small portion of human sexual capacity as sanctifiable, safe, healthy, mature, legal, or politically correct. The ‘line’ distinguishes these from all other erotic behaviours, which are understood to be the work of the devil, dangerous, psychopathological, infantile, or politically reprehensible. Arguments are then conducted over ‘where to draw the line’, and to determine what other activities, if any, may be permitted to cross over into acceptability.
Gayle Rubin, Thinking Sex
Their work demonstrates that just as males need to recognize, develop, and integrate the societally marked female aspects of their personalities, so females must accept and incorporate qualities gender-coded as male. To achieve this integrated balance is to become an individuated adult who controls accessible power.
Elizabeth McGeachy Mills’ review of The Bitch is Back: Wicked Women in Literature, written by Sarah Appleton Aguiar.
Narrative coherence, Linde argues, derives from principles of causality and continuity, and, once again, it is culture that supplies what she calls “coherence systems,” “cultural device[s] for structuring experience into socially sharable narrative”. Freudian psychology, Marxism, feminism, most religious faiths – Linde points to these as examples of large-scale sources of narrative coherence. I am struck by the connection Linde makes between narrative self-presentation and normality. She claims that an individual’s refusal to supply an appropriate answer to the question “what do you do” will appear “anomalous and, eventually, sinister”. Our performance of self-narration, then, takes place in an environment of social convention and constraint. Having mastered its rules and developed a repertoire of stories about ourselves, we tend – at least socially – to merge with them: in this sense our stories are our selves.
Paul John Eakin, Living Autobiographically: How We Create Identity in Narrative (USA: Cornell University Press, 2008), p. 30.
Both autobiography and autofiction offer a unique conflation of history and discourse, of verifiable fact and aesthetic fabulation. To a large extent, every autobiography imposes narrative form on an otherwise formless and fragmented personal history, and every novel incorporates shards of social, psychological, and cultural history into the texture of its ostensibly mimetic world.

Suzette A. Henke, Shattered Subjects (USA: Macmillan Press, 1998), p. xiv

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
saturdaychores
saturdaychores:

Saturday Chores #1, March 8, 2014
This was our very first counter-protest. It happened on a bit of a whim. There’s no big box hardware store very close to where we live, so Grayson and I were driving toward a suburb of Raleigh called Cary, which runs over with strip malls. I had gotten a gift card to Home Depot for my birthday, and we decided to get supplies for a garden box. We passed the clinic on the way.
Grayson and I both grew up not too far away, and we’ve seen the clinic in question hundreds of times. But for some reason, on this morning in particular, the protestors got under our skin a little more than normal. Grayson suggested that we make a sign that said “Weird Hobby” and point at one of the protestors. We tried to buy poster board at Home Depot, but they don’t carry it. As we were leaving, I ripped a vinyl sale sign off of a display and took a Sharpie to it. We posted the results to Instagram and Facebook, and people flipped. 
So, we vowed to continue our Saturday Chores. 

saturdaychores:

Saturday Chores #1, March 8, 2014

This was our very first counter-protest. It happened on a bit of a whim. There’s no big box hardware store very close to where we live, so Grayson and I were driving toward a suburb of Raleigh called Cary, which runs over with strip malls. I had gotten a gift card to Home Depot for my birthday, and we decided to get supplies for a garden box. We passed the clinic on the way.

Grayson and I both grew up not too far away, and we’ve seen the clinic in question hundreds of times. But for some reason, on this morning in particular, the protestors got under our skin a little more than normal. Grayson suggested that we make a sign that said “Weird Hobby” and point at one of the protestors. We tried to buy poster board at Home Depot, but they don’t carry it. As we were leaving, I ripped a vinyl sale sign off of a display and took a Sharpie to it. We posted the results to Instagram and Facebook, and people flipped. 

So, we vowed to continue our Saturday Chores. 

Sexual/romantic relationships are founded upon a cultural commitment to the primacy of the (heterosexual) couple. Within this context of isolation, women are encouraged expected to lose themselves in their sexual/romantic relationships, to fuse their identities with other person.
Christine Overall, ‘Monogamy, Nonmonogamy and Identity’, Hypatia Vol. 13. No. 4 (1998), pp. 1-17, p. 12-3.
Modern secular society puts increasing pressure on individuals by investing the individual self with profound importance and making each person solely responsible for the development of his or her own self, on the one hand, and, on the other hand, by divorcing the individual from forms of communities which give that development direction and meaning. The individual self is thus remarkably precarious and remarkably important.
Marianne Gullestad, Everyday Life Philosophers: Modernity, Morality, and Autobiography in Norway. (Oslo: Scandinavian University Press, 1996) p. 287-88.